Friday, February 21, 2014

Why am I here?

The "here" in the title is referring to this blog.  Why am I here, blogging a few times a week?  Putting my thoughts out there into cyberspace?  I thought about this shortly after Christmas; I hadn't blogged for awhile (hellooooooo, holiday hiatus) and I briefly considered just not doing it anymore.  Not opening it back up, not writing another post, not sharing any more pictures. Nothing.  The end.  Would anyone really care?   At the time, I felt like I had too many pictures to share, too many holiday events to recap...just too much.

But I couldn't do it.  I had to come back.  Obviously that's what happened, since I'm here now! But I came back with a fresh perspective.  The nice thing about having a blog that is not related to my job, and a blog that does nothing to contribute financially to our family is that I'm not on a deadline.  No one is breathing down my neck or caring that my Christmas pictures get posted a month after the holiday.   So what's my motivation?  Why did I come back?

I started this blog shortly after Jake was born; I was on maternity leave in the winter with a lot of time on my hands, and a lot of friends and family out there who don't live close by. (here is the very first blog post on this site, 2/19/2008:   I thought the blog would be a nice place to share the pictures and videos I was constantly taking, and even more importantly, share the moments.  The moments that I didn't want to forget, and the moments that my sleep-deprived brain would often neglect to remember to share when I would talk to loved ones.

It didn't take too long before I realized that I'm a much better blogger than I am a scrapbooker, or even a basic baby book keeper.  I failed miserably in those areas.  But here, on this blog?  For some reason, it was easier for me to come here and record Jake's most recent weight at his pediatrician appointment, or his new word that he learned, or a cute thing he did during the day.  It was a two birds/one stone kind of thing: I was documenting his childhood and everything I wanted to remember, AND I was sharing that info with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and anyone else who cared to follow along.

Since then, this blog has become my catch all....a place to keep track of the books I've read, recipes I've enjoyed, house projects, and more. Not only has the material expanded, but we as a family have expanded since the beginning of the blog.....this was a place for me to share news and feelings on a second baby, a second home, and everything else that has shaped us into the family we are.  I've written posts about our house buying and moving process, documenting my pregnancy with Liam, and stories and challenges about raising the kids.  This blog has become the story of our family.

I have also found that it's a good place to share my vents and thoughts on things, especially parenting things. It's not only therapeutic to know get it all off my chest, but also to know that there is an ever so slight chance that maybe someone else will stumble across my blog and come across a post that is helpful to them when they're feeling the same way.  Or are scared about something.  Or just want to see if any other kids are doing what their kids are doing.  I can't tell you how much time I spent scouring random blogs when I was pregnant with Liam and experiencing all of the issues with my blood pressure....I wanted to find hope, I wanted to read that other people had also been through pre-e once before and didn't get it again.  I wanted to know that a baby could be born before 37 weeks if need be and be fine.  I wanted to know that I wasn't alone. Or even less drastic day to day searches that I've found myself doing....what does a 9 month old baby usually eat? How can I help my kid prepare for kindergarten?  Those are all things that I've searched for and found advice and support on blogs, so who knows?  Maybe someone will find that same sense of "ok. it's ok, someone else has done this, too" on my blog.   And maybe this blog is what I need to be able to work through some things, and just get out there into the cyber world what frustrations I'm having, as well as what things I'm most proud of.  And at the rate I'm going, this blog will be the only record of any milestones or small memories I may have of the kids! 

Regardless of the exact reason, I've realized that I've come this far and I'll hold onto the blog for now.  I love looking back at old posts and reading stories about the kids, or seeing how much they've grown.  I've seen sites that turn your blog into a memory book of goal is to one day do that.  One day, down the road...for now, I'll keep filling it up with things to include in that book.

1 comment:

Sara said...

:) I started my own blog as a way to share with my family -- my parents, grandparents, aunts / uncles, and brother and nephew all lived in different states than me. And also, this was easier (maybe just faster?) than recording it in a baby book. I print them out in 6 month increments for each kid. I hope they'll enjoy reading what they were up too and maybe, in some way, as a parent they'll be able to relate to my vents and my outlets. ? Time will tell. Keep the blog! :)

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